Jamie Clone: Greetings, readers! I welcome you to a new chapter of the Kanto legacy! In the last chapter, my fellow maid and her wife were adorable, the witch woman flirted with her father-in-law, a new baby, Charmander, was born into the legacy, and baby Tepig grew into a toddler.
Care to tell me how you know all this?
Jamie Clone: I’m the eyes and ears of this place, honey. I know all….
Right…I planned to have this chapter posted this morning, but my family decided that going out for breakfast is more important. But that doesn’t mean I can’t post it now! With that being said, let’s hop right into the action, shall we?
Well this is awkward…Shelly and Klink were flirting like always, and Squirtle just decided to jump right into the middle of it and start a friendly conversation.
Squirtle: Greetings, family! How are we on this fine day?
Rink: Hehe…great…just great…
Altaria: I’ll call you back, Kyo-kun. Things just got juicy…
Luckily, the awkwardness stopped when Squirtle’s sparkling green stomach started to burst.
Squirtle: Oh sweet plumbob, the PAIN!!!
Relax, you’re just giving birth to an alien child conceived the night you were abducted.
Squirtle: Really? Is that all?
Of course, we’re raising this baby.
Squirtle gave birth to Deoxys, the first girl of the generation. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a contender for heiress!
Deo was born an evil light sleeper. At least she has one type of trait we’d like to promote.
Squirtle: What is this?
Oh, just something your wife cooked up.
Squirtle: Seems rather fishy…are you sure it’s safe for me to eat this?
Well, considering there isn’t a ghost type called “death by poison apple,” I think you’ll be okay.
Squirtle: Well…if you’re sure…
Ah, it just puts him to sleep. I’ve been curious what those did for a long time, I’ve just been too afraid to test them. I would’ve felt soooo bad if it had actually killed him…I ❤ you, Squirtle!
Altaria: This baby is so boring…
Charmander: I’m a witch! I have magical powers! I am literally levitating in your arms right now!!!
Altaria: Yeah, but look at what MY baby can do.
Tepig: Let’s see now…I have a square block. The block is also blue, and I see a hint of blue peeping up from that circular hole, so obviously that’s where this block goes! Genius!
Altaria: Mamma’s so proud of you, baby!
Rink: ~obnoxious giggling~
Joe: Oh, don’t mind me, your HUSBAND. I was just checking on our GRANDBABIES.
Klink: What husband? I don’t have a husband…oh wait….Hi Joey!
Joe: I want a divorce 😀
Squirtle: Shelly SUCKS!
I completely forgot we even had that thing! I bought it for Bronzong back when he was going through his rebellious elder stage. Must have been hanging about in someone’s inventory this whole time. Please don’t die! You’re the only sane person left in this family! (Wow, this is looking suspiciously like get Squirtle killed chapter, isn’t it?)
This child always looks like he’s deep in thought.
Tepig: How can Sims be real if your eyes aren’t real?
Such deepness. Much profound. Wow.
GAH! SQUIRTLE! I thought I told you not to die!!!!
Rachelle: How do you expect me to mourn the loss of my husband with you standing right on top of me, darlin’?
Jamie: I was here first, bitch. Go pretend to be sad somewhere else.
Grim: So I heard someone was ranting about death.
Yeah, that would be my heir…
Grim: That green idiot over there?
Squirtle: Woah, guys, I’m made of ectoplasm! This is so cool!
That would be the one…
Azurill: No, big brother! You can’t leave me! Besides daddy Joe, you’re my only friend in this whole house!
Rink: NOOOO, SQUIRTLE!!!!
Jamie: Those idiots don’t deserve to mourn…
Grim: Squirtle Kanto, what were you THINKING ranting about death? I’d like to think I’m a pretty chill guy, but hearing people talk smack on me just grinds my gears!
Squirtle: But Mr. Reaper, sir, I wasn’t ranting about death. I was ranting about my stupid wife who keeps flirting with…
Grim: NO EXCUSES!
Grim: You are a disgrace to your family, Squirtle Kanto. I’m embarrassed that I even have to be here right now.
Squirtle: Dude, c’mon. This legacy would die without me, you know that!
Squirtle: Please, Grim, I throw myself at your mercy!
Grim: Oh, just get up already. I forgive you. This time.
Squirtle: You…you do?
Grim: There, you can have your life back. Nobody can say I’m a heartless stick in the mud now, can they? I have plenty of compassion for life.
Squirtle: I can’t believe it! Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me!
Grim: Yeah, yeah…enough with the theatrics. Don’t let it happen again though, got it?
Squirtle: This experience has been so eye opening for me…it’s like I was there in the afterlife…and now I’m back…
Well. That was certainly unexpected. On the bright side, I get to keep my heir for a while longer. He still has stuff to do. Books to write, children to raise, you know the drill. Gosh, this whole ordeal scared the crap out of me. I’m just glad it’s over now.
Grim: GAH! Why has that Klink Kanto not died yet?!? I need something to REAP, dammit!
Relax, Grim. He’s only two days past the end of his life bar. Besides, Joey’s older than him.
Grim: Joe hasn’t completed his lifetime wish, right? I’d like to give him a little more time. This is the new, compassionate Grim, remember?
Oh, of course.
Squirtle: So Grim, what are your plans after this job?
Grim: I’d like to see a little of the world, get a little culture in my life.
Squirtle: That sounds awesome. I sure wish the Simmer had WA so I could travel too…
Grim: Tell you what. Once your time comes, I’ll take you on one of my reaping world tours. It’ll be a blast. Like one of those buddy roadtrip movies. You in?
Squirtle: A field trip with the Grim Reaper? You bet I’m in!
Rachelle: Oh, sugar plum, I was so scared! I’m happy you’re safe in my arms once again…
Squirtle: Does this mean you’ll stop flirting with my father?
Rachelle: Anything you want, hun.
Apparently I no longer get popups about unexpected pregnancies, but I do still get popups about the births. Phio stole Azelf’s man and had baby Derik with him. Shortly after this, they broke up and Phio got married to another one of Aza’s ex’s. Sisterly rivalry?
An entire school week after booting him out of the house, I finally got some news about Kyovan. Despite being the one to propose, Jovan ended up taking the Kanto name, which I’m perfectly fine with. I believe they’re expecting a baby.
Speaking of babies, Charmie grew up! He has a lot of Shelly in him, but he also has his father’s nose. Weird as it may sound, I really like Squirtle’s nose, so I’m excited to see how this one grows up!
Rachelle: Sugar, I could just eat you up.
Klink: Hehe…same to you, my dear.
Squirtle: Oh yes, flirt right in front of me. No really, it’s fine. PERFECTLY FINE. I’m just so happy about it. SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY I COULD EXPLODE.
Rachelle: Do be quiet, doll, we’re trying to flirt over here.
…..this isn’t happening. We are not going through this again….
Klink: MY SON!!!!
Rachelle: MY HUSBAND!!!!
Oh, do shut up you two. I don’t wanna hear it from you.
Grim: This again? ~sigh~ These Sims just never learn…
The toddlers remain blissfully unaware of what’s happening just a few rooms away from them.
Charmander: If this stupid block won’t fit, I’ll just make it fit with my witchy powers!
Tepig: My blocks are taken…this is the worst possible thing that could happen today!
Grim: Squirtle Kanto, what the hell are you doing? Didn’t I warn you what would happen if you ranted about death again?
Squirtle: I heard you loud and clear. I just couldn’t take living in a world where the love of my life constantly betrayed me by wooing my father. It was all just too painful for me, you know?
Grim: I understand.
Squirtle: I’m ready to see the world with you, Grim.
Grim: Excited to have you, Squirts.
Squirtle: Can I just ask one thing of you? Make sure my kids are taken care of. I trust my sister to do a good job, just…promise me they’ll be alright…
Grim: Can do, buddy.
And off they went to reap the souls of the world together…
Rachelle: YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND!!! Who’s the bitch now, huh?
I did no such thing!!! Although I do feel responsible…I should’ve taken the damn megaphone away from him, but I didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to use it again after nearly dying the first time….
Squirtle Kanto committed suicide via ranting after one too many times feeling betrayed by his love. He was a great Sim, and despite being a lazy bum, managed to complete his LTW while still a YA, a record for this legacy! He will be dearly missed, and I honestly don’t know how this family is going to survive without him…
Jamie: Can I travel the world with you when I die too?
Grim: Little lady, Squirtle and me have an understanding, you know? We have this special connection. You wouldn’t understand it.
I think we need some cute to balance out the sad. It seems that Tepig has found a replacement for the blocks Charmie stole from him.
Tepig: This glitchy custom content is twice as fun as that boring pile of poo!
Rachelle: Hey there, hot stuff. Now that I’m newly single, how about you and I go see a movie tonight?
Klink: You’re despicable. My son, your husband, just died because of us.
Klink: Oh, but you’re just too darned adorable that I can’t resist you!
I hate them. Truly.
Rachelle: Yo, kid. I have these two tickets to a movie I was gonna take your grandpa to tonight, but he turned me down. You wanna go with mommy?
Charmander: Mmmm…no. Auntie Ri says you’re a man eating whorebag.
Rachelle: Where did you learn that language, young man?!?
It seems that someone’s training is going far better.
Jamie: I’m gonna let go now, and then you’re gonna walk to me. Alright, Tepig?
Tepig: Not sure about this…I think I’d rather just play with my blocks…mommy Tari says I’m good at that…
Tari comes home to find her house in complete chaos. She missed both deaths. The first time, she was fast asleep and couldn’t hear the commotion. This time, she was at work. She took the news pretty hard.
Altaria: I loved big brother so much, and now he’s gone!!!
I know, sweetie. I know. She went from being a co-heir to being head of the legacy in one day, plus she lost her best friend.
Jamie cheered her up in the only way she knows how.
Azurill: I’m so ashamed of you, father. I can’t even look you in the eyes anymore…
Klink: Admittedly, I’m rather ashamed of myself…
I feel sorta bad for him here…he looks so sullen…
Amid all the sadness, we do have one glimmer of hope. The toddlers. Deoxys has joined her brother and cousin and become a crawling cutie.
Deoxys: I feel as though my evilness has brought all this suffering. I am now traumatized for life.
Oooorrrr, the cute can just bring more depression….I’m sorry this has been such a downer chapter, you guys. I was so sad while playing it, and writing the previous chapters with Rachelle and Klink flirting like crazy just made me even angrier, knowing what was going to happen. I’m gonna go ahead and sign off for tonight. Thank you all so much for reading, and as always, happy Simming!