5.12: To Romance a Tart

Hey guys, new chapter time! In the last chapter, we recovered from our gift-giving party, baby Starmie was added to the family, the teens attended prom, and Arbok had a birthday. We then had an heir poll! Time to see the results of that! I’d originally planned to keep the poll open until Saturday, but I feel like most people who wanted to have already cast their votes and I just couldn’t resist playing any longer! So why don’t we find out who’s inheriting this crazy family?


Ditto will not be taking over the legacy. Big surprise there.

Ditto: What a travesty! I feel that I will now die of stress-induced cardiomyopathy…or maybe that’s just the starvation I subjected myself to in order to keep my shapely form for the sake of winning over readers…

Oh, don’t be so dramatic. It doesn’t become you.


Espeon will also not be the heiress.

Espeon: I have no puns for this situation. Screw you guys.

That bitch face though…


Ditto: Spoiler alert, baby brother. She’s about to tell you that you’re not the heir.

Arbok: Oh. Ok then. Didn’t really expect to be anyways.

Kudos to Ari for coming in second place though.

Arbok: Great, I’m the first loser. Awesome.


Which means that Missingno, the one ghost child of the generation, will be taking the reins and running this legacy! Congratulations, Em. How do you feel about this situation?

Missingno: Meh.

Em won by a landslide, guys. The others never even had a chance, really. I guess that’s to be expected since he is the only ghost and his future wife Chandra is the only spouse we’ve actually seen up close and personal. I’m glad he won though. I love all my lavender children, but I’ve been rooting for him since the beginning XD


Altaria: Look at all of you, talking about heirship and other such baloney. MY BROTHER JUST DIED.

She hasn’t stopped crying since we got the message. She didn’t do this with Azelf or Phione, and it’s not like she and Bobo were very close. I can only imagine how she’ll react when Kyo-kun dies.


With our next heir named, it was time for him to finally communicate with his betrothed. And since Ditto’s prospective spouse Franny is sisters with Chandra and lives in the same house, he got to come along. I figured that if the two of them got on well enough, we’d bring her with us when we move. If not, I’m sure there are plenty of eligible ladies or gentlemen for Ditto in the next town.

Ditto: Gee, how nice of you to think of me.


Espeon: I wanna meet my prospective husband too…

Sorry hun, he’s not even a teen yet! Like I said with Ditto, there will be plenty of eligible bachelors for you in the new town.

Espeon: Hmmph.


When we arrived at the Tart household, this puppy was waiting for us outside. I’m kind of mad at this family for leaving him outside in the cold, but he seems pretty proud of his position as guard dog, so I guess I can forgive it this once.

Dog: Are these young boys here to spread their seed to the innocent young girls under my care? Blasphemy! I shall now bark incessantly to warn my humans of these insolent boys!


As someone was actually coming out to greet our twins, all the dogs of the house surrounded Ditto. Not sure if they liked him or they thought he was a bigger threat than Em.

Dog: Greetings, human. What business have you here?

Little Dog: Am I doing this surrounding thing right, boss?

Ditto: I’m so happy with this situation.


Ditto is never happy.


Em is finally greeted by…Kindra Van Gould! What in the world is she doing living with the Tart-Bedlam family? I could have sworn she and her mother were still living in the Van Gould mansion even though Deo and Kurtis broke up.


Francesca: So these are the Kanto men that we’re engaged to marry, huh sis?

Chandra: I get the cool ghost dude. Score!

Little Dog: I do not like ghost person! Ghost person is scary!


Chandra: Does my fairy magic impress you?

Maybe a little…if you remember, Klink’s first girlfriend Abigail was a fairy. She never played around with her magic.


Our friend Kindra must be a coward. After calmly and politely letting the boys inside, she went into the living room to faint from seeing a ghost. She could also be dramatic, I suppose.

Kindra: It’s too much for me…

Do you think she does this every time she sees herself in front of a mirror?


We’re off to a great start already.

Francesca: Oh golly, I tripped! I’m so embarrassed…

Ditto: Help?…

Missingno: Hurr durr, she’s hot…

Chandra: That’s right, future husband. Adore me.


The baby’s portrait turned yellow so I zoomed back home to check on her. Big brother Ari was on the case!

Arbok: I have a sister 😀


Back at the Tart house…

Francesca: ~pant pant~ Woof! Woof!

Ditto: Do you…need medical attention?

I can tell this is going to be a looong night for Ditto.


Chandra: Sooo, welcome to my crib. It’s not much, but it seems I’ll be moving up in the world soon anyways.

Missingno: Indeed you will.

Ditto: Why does he get the pleasant conversational partner?

I have to say, I was rather surprised how well these two got on. Neither of them have a single point in charisma, and yet they got an instant boost to almost friends right when they met! Nifty!


Missingno and Chandra: ~awkward giggling~

Ditto: No, seriously. I can take you to a doctor. We can get help for you.


Missingno: So, this one time Em was in a fight with his little brother Ari.

Ditto: Doctor? Yes, no?


Missingno: See, he was using Em’s toothbrush, and that’s just wrong! I mean, it was an easy mistake I guess since all of our toothbrushes are painted purple like our generation, but he should have totally known better.

Francesca: My mother’s already tried putting a Band Aid  on my brain to fix my crazy. But it didn’t do nothing.

Dog: I approve of this young ghost for marriage to our little Chandra. You may proceed.


Missingno: So Em was like, that’s nacho toothbrush, Arbok. If you don’t put that down, Em is going to throw your computer in a lake. He was so horrified, it was great!

Chandra: Hahaha, I like the way you think, hun!

Ditto: Have you considered getting medicated? You might feel dead inside most days, but at least you won’t be a walking freak of nature anymore, right?

Poor Ditto really looks like he’s struggling with this conversation, doesn’t he?


I kept getting popups about how vampires don’t like the sun, so I went back home and found these two doofs about to burn to death while flirting with each other.

Phillip: At least we would’ve died together, right baby?

Ledyba: I was going to say that at least we died in a cool, extreme way. But yeah, your thing is good too.

Get back inside, you dorks! You’re not allowed to die until after Em takes over!


Missingno and Chandra: ~make stupid faces at each other~

Francesca: Do you wanna make stupid faces too?

Ditto: Get me out of this damn house…


Kindra was making weird noises back in the living room, so I went to check on her. She was just standing there, staring at us with her scarily large ghost-alien eyes.

Kindra: I just wanted senpai to notice me…

Go away, Kindra! We can’t start with the romance with some creep hanging around!


Missingno: Roses are red, violets are blu-

Chandra: Let me stop you right there, hun. Poems are so unoriginal, there’s no way I’d be wooed by something like that.

Missingno: But…Em doesn’t understand…


Chandra: You didn’t honestly think it would be that easy, did you?


Missingno: Em just got…rejected…

Francesca: So I’m a cancer and my astrologist said that my horoscope for today is that I’d meet my soul mate and that we’d unite as one, which we already did. Gotta love glitches, right? So basically we’re going to be getting married and having twenty babies and living happily ever after. Right now. Stop looking at my sister and your brother and pay attention to me!

Ditto: Brother…help me…

Sorry hun, his manly pride’s been compromised. I think you’re on your own for the time being.


Might as well see how attractive they find each other.

Hasn't Stopped Me Before

Ha! Like that’s ever stopped me before. Seriously though, these two have been the easiest two Sims to become friends I’ve EVER had, and Chandra’s been a chosen spouse since birth. These two things combined, I don’t feel so bad about forcing a relationship upon them. Who knows? Maybe they’ll be like GirbWin from my dual legacy and grow to really love each other.


This guy, Buddy Judd, apparently lives with the Tarts too. He was a potential spouse for Tepig back in the day. He came into the house crying over the death of some chick I didn’t even know existed. Stop trying to distract from the budding romance!


Chandra: Leaf.

Missingno: L…leaf? Did Em hear that correctly?

Chandra: Precisely. Leaf.

Missingno: Okay….


Missingno: So anyways, will you be Em’s teddy bea-

Chandra: Quoting Elvis now? What are you, twelve?


Francesca: Eww, something seriously stinks over here.

Ditto: She…she just peed herself…right in front of me…and then totally denied it happening…

Yeah, somehow I don’t think this relationship is going to work out. Good thing Ditto’s not the heir, or he’d be ruddy miserable the rest of his life.


Chandra: That’s right, you got the cool Tart sister for your legacy. I think my genes will prove most worthy.

So are you ready to be flirted with now?

Chandra: Perhaps.


Missingno: So, no corny poems or song lyrics or pickup lines this time. This is coming straight from Em’s heart. You’re really cool and pretty and Em kind of can’t stop thinking about you…

Chandra: Not so eloquent, but…sweet. I feel the same way, ghost boy.

Missingno: Hehe…cool.


Ditto got sick of crazy Franny and left, probably to change his pee-stained shoes. I’m glad he got back home okay, it’s past curfew.

Ditto: Don’t you ever subject me to that kind of torment again.

Don’t worry hun, I’ll let you pick your own love interest next time.


Chandra: Finally. That boy’s side story with my crazy sister was a decent interlude, but now you can keep the attention where it belongs.


Franny’s Hand: Look what you did, girl. You let that boy get away! You shall be punished for your insolence.

Francesca: But…HAVE MERCY!

I kind of love this family.


Missingno: It’s been an honor to meet you, milady. But Em has to return home now before the curfew police arrest him. Can I see you again?

Chandra: Definitely. I’m looking forward to our next meeting.

Miraculously, Em made it home without getting himself caught. We probably should’ve just asked Chandra to stay over, but I didn’t know how she’d react to that considering she rejected most of our advances up to this point. Besides, Em’s a daredevil. He’d totally stay out as late as possible just to prove he could do it. But back home…


Altaria: You are in so much trouble, young man!

Missingno: Chill out, Tari. You aren’t even Em’s grandmother. You can’t punish me.


Altaria: Wanna bet? You’re grounded until further notice, you insolent brat! Just because you’re the new heir in two days doesn’t mean you can go around flaunting your power like that!

Missingno: Woah, woah. Simmer down.

He Didn't Even Get Picked Up By The Cops!

Seriously. He didn’t even get brought home by the cops. How come Ditto got to come home after curfew but Em gets in a boatload of trouble?


Ledyba: Yeah, no. This shit is dumb. You’re off the hook, kiddo. By the way, as a fellow daredevil I’m really proud of you for avoiding the coppers like that. You’ll have to tell me your secret sometime.

Missingno: Sure thing, ma.



Ledyba: Can we fire her from this legacy? Cause she’s seriously getting on my nerves.

Missingno: Don’t worry, mother. She’s bound to die one of these days.

Welp, that’s all I have for this chapter. Hope you guys didn’t mind spending the whole thing attempting (and failing) to impress Chandra. Next time, our twins will age up into adults and Em can officially take over the legacy! Thanks so much for reading and, as always, happy Simming!


One thought on “5.12: To Romance a Tart

  1. LMAO, Franny and Ditto’s dialogue was too funny. Your townies are really interesting.

    Glad Missingno won, even if I voted for the non-ghost. Love Chandra, and this means we might get some fairy ghosts!

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